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Meredith: I'm a trans woman who's 5'5", so average height for women in the States and shorter than most trans women I know.
As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.
Or guys can also be completely dismissive once they see me in person and say, "You seem much taller in your photos" or "I didn't realize how short you were until you got off that stool." I recently had one guy actually look over my head to see if the person he was meeting was someone else besides me. But of course in a completely contradictory way, I'm usually attracted to men who are much, much taller than I am.
So I guess opposites attract, or I just enjoy the awkward interactions/comical antics of doing activities with someone much taller than I? Standing out (physically) my whole life has led me to be much more confident and fearless of being different. There are definitely a lot of great guys who only see six feet as one small part of who I am.
I think the bigger issue is how comfortable random men are talking to me about my body.
Chaya: I remember being teased for being short in middle school, as my girl friends had their puberty growth spurts and I stayed the same from sixth grade until forever.I've been told more than a few times that "there's no way I can tell you're trans," and that helps men feel comfortable dating me.I've even been in a couple of dating situations where people have thought I was kidding when I came out to them as trans.Yes, focusing on what's inside is more important — but that's easier said than done.It's hard to ignore something as obvious as height, especially if it makes a person stand out.